Pete’s on the Hot Seat

And by “it” we mean this entire website, the very idea that Pete Carroll, a coach who led USC to 7 straight PAC-10 titles, 7 straight BCS games, and back-to-back national championships, would ever, under any circumstances, be placed on a “hot seat.”

The site had sort of died out due to our laziness, but we were content to let what was already there stay.  But now that Pete Carroll has left, we felt it was time to come clean.

The joke started between the two of us, shortly after the epic game against Texas in the Rose Bowl.  “Uh oh.  Pete Carroll lost a big game.  He’s probably on the hot seat right about now.”  We’d bring it up every time Carroll lost a game.  Which meant that we only brought it up FOUR TIMES during the 2006 and 2007 seasons.

So we started this Onionesque blog prior to the 2008 season, hoping the Trojans would win the national title that year, making our already absurd suggestion that Pete Carroll should be fired even more ludicrous.  Alas, it didn’t work out that way, but we love Pete Carroll just the same.

That’s right.  We freaking LOVE the man.  And this past season doesn’t change a thing.  Carroll had earned the right to have LOTS of 9-4 seasons (and the fact that 9-4 seems so terrible shows how great he was).

To those that got the joke, we hope you enjoyed it.  To those that were outraged, we appreciate your support for Pete Carroll and hope that now that things are out in the open, you can reread some of our posts and find some humor in them.  And to those who actually had the audacity to AGREE with us… well, you’re just a bunch of idiots.

It astounds us that people can actually complain about Pete Carroll, the (former… tear) winningest coach in college football percentage-wise.  One critique thrown around in complete seriousness is that, from 2005-2008, Carroll held the record for most wins without winning a championship.  But that’s not a valid criticism of the man; it’s a condemnation of the system that says “these teams get to play for the title while these teams with the same record don’t.”

Though the money and the challenge were likely the two biggest factors, another reason Pete left was probably so he could lose a few games and still have a chance to win it all.  And we hope he does.

Win forever, Pete.  And fight on!

I could give you many excuses as to why we haven’t been updating here, but the easiest to believe and truest is that we’re too lazy to write long blogs. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t still have complaints. If only there were a way to get them across in a shorter form…

And all we had to do was look to Pete Carroll himself to realize the perfect way…Twitter! So you can now follow us at https://twitter.com/hotseatpete.

Keep in mind that just because we’re now using Twitter doesn’t mean we think Carroll should. After all, when we neglect our jobs to Twitter, it doesn’t cost USC another national championship.

We may never know how many people fill out March Madness brackets each year.  Tons of people who haven’t watched a single game get in on the action.  Heck, it probably draws a lot of people who couldn’t tell you any of the rules of the game other than you try to get the ball to go through the net.

So most USC fans would have still been able to join the fun regardless of what happened during last weekend’s PAC-10 Tournament and Sunday’s selection show.  But now that the Trojans will be fighting for a chance at the national championship, we can truly be invested in the excitement of the upcoming weeks.

And it’s all thanks to the genius and tenacity of Tim Floyd, USC’s basketball coach.  After the team’s incredible performance against Arizona State on Saturday, I imagine many of you had the same thought as me:

Finally, a USC coach who makes good second half adjustments:

Remember that time Pete Carroll lost to Stanford at home?  No, no, the other time.

That’s right.  It happened TWICE.

Read more in The Losses.

A recent report has revealed the highest paid people at private universities throughout the country.  Coming in at number two on the list is Columbia’s David N. Silvers, a clinical professor for dermatology.  This man makes 4.3 million dollars a year.

Now, that might sound crazy.  But at least he’s a lot better at dealing with blemishes than the number one person on the list.  In case you haven’t guess it by now, it’s the one, the only, the Pete Carroll.

Apparently Pete Carroll has already given up on the #1 ranked tailback recruit, Bryce Brown.  Well, USC has said that “they are no longer interested.”  Sort of like how I said I was no longer interested in Angelina Jolie once she got with Brad Pitt.

We’ve added another entry to the list of possible replacements for Pete Carroll.  Our previous two suggestions, Bill Synder and Lane Kiffin, have already been snagged.  This one is still available, so get on it, Mike Garrett.

It’s been a week since Signing Day, but we’re not closer to sorting through the rubble.  Some overly optimistic sources rank USC’s incoming recruiting class as high as fourth, while the more realistic ones put it around seventh.  But at least there’s one thing they can all agree on:  As usual, Pete Carroll isn’t first.

Watching last night’s absolutely amazing Super Bowl that will undoubtedly go down as the best of all time mainly because of the classic, game-changing play-making orchestrated by the Steelers’ future hall of fame QB Big Ben, I couldn’t help but think about a recent epic game that we failed to highlight.

The Fiesta Bowl.  Texas vs. Ohio State, where once again, Texas won due to last second heroics from a star quarterback.  And this wasn’t against a USC team riding a wave of media success into a national championship game they’d already been deemed the winners of, led by a coach whose ego barely fit into the Rose Bowl that night.  No, this was against a Buckeyes team desperate not to be embarrassed on the big stage during bowl season for the third year in a row.  And they more than accomplished that task.

We’ve updated The Losses page with a story about the epic fail Pete Carroll had against the epic failure Joey Harrington.