The Replacements

Posted by hotseatpete

Coaches we think might be a better fit for USC.  (updated periodically)

TOMMY TUBERVILLE

Auburn Head Coach (1999-2008)

Ole Miss Head Coach (1995-1998)

Coaching Record: 110-60 (including 1 undefeated season, the same number as Pete Carroll)

RESPECTS TRADITION:  Jim Fyffe was the play-by-play radio announcer for the Auburn Tigers for 22 years.  He became famous for his cry, “TOUCHDOOOOWN AUUUUUBURN!”  Drawing out syllables is a classic announcer move, but Fyffe did it with style.

Fyffe died tragically during the summer of 2003, so for the first home game, Tuberville helped usher in a new tradition.  Whenever the Tigers scored, one side of the the stadium would yell “Touchdoooown,” and then the opposite side would yell back “Auuuuuburn.”

This shows a tremendous respect for the culture of the school and was quiete an emotional event the first time they did it.  I was there for their first home game that year.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to hear it in person because they were unable to perform it until a month later.

KID FRIENDLY AND MOTHER APPROVED: Long before Carroll decided to always go for it on fourth down, Tuberville became known as an aggressive playcaller during his tenure at Ole Miss.  Granted, Tuberville was much more strategic about when to employ this technique and had better plays ready for such situations.  He moved away from this strategy after becoming the head coach at Auburn, realizing that it made much more senes to get a first down in the first three attempts.

During his time at Ole Miss, he developed the nickname “The Riverboat Gambler.”  A lot of things can be said about this nickname (awesome, badass, etc.), but no one could ever call it offensive.  Even someone strongly opposed to gambling would be calmed when told that no exchange of money is actually involved with the name.

This is a stark contrast to the nickname Pete Carroll goes by in reference to his fourth down calls: “Big Balls Pete.”  Supposedly it refers to his high testosterone level and bravery, but we think it implies that there might be something wrong with him that he should probably get checked out.

Just think about it this way, which nickname would you rather have to explain to your Grandma?

HANDLES ADVERSITY: If you’re going to coach a big time program, you’ve got to be able to handle the criticism.  Carroll doesn’t have to worry about that too much because the media tends to heap spoonfuls of praise on him to make the medicine go down.  But whenever he does get criticism, such as Sanchez choosing to leave early instead of being smothered under the oppressive blind committment to defensive stragery over offensive firepower, Carroll throws a fit and then blames it on lack of a podium.

Tuberville has seen much worse critiques of his award-winning coaching job and has taken all of them in stride.  Back in 2003, Auburn booster Bobby Lowder worked with the school president and director of athletics to try to have Tuberville railroaded out as head coach.  Did he throw a temper tantrum and demand to be treated with respect?  No.  Did he refuse to work for people that clearly had no desire to keep him around?  No.  He stuck to it and keep quiet, silencing his critics the only way a coach should:  his performance on the field.  He turned around and went undefeated the next season.

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH: For whatever reason, Tuberville gets nowhere near the amount of praise as Carroll despite the fact that their acheivements are almost identical.  Auburn’s undefeated season in 2004 was more impressive than anything USC has done under Carroll.  If the BCS and/or media had acknowledged what a true accomplishment it was, Auburn would have gotten the AP National Championship that they deserved (at the least).

Instead, they battled an incredibly talented Virginia Tech team, emerging victorious to maintain their undefeated season.  USC got to beat up on Choklahoma and walk away with a championship.

RIDES OFF INTO THE SUNSET: Perhaps the best quality about Tommy Tuberville is that he knows when it’s time to move on.  Even after the great things he’s done for Auburn University, he decided to step down when he saw that the team needed a fresh start in order to climb back up to the greatness that he had helped it attain.

Meanwhile, Carroll continues to fester at USC, riding his previous success to year after year of Rose Bowl mediocrity.

LANE KIFFIN

Tennessee Head Coach (2009-?)

Oakland Raiders Head Coach (2007-2008*)

USC Trojans Offensive Coordinator (2005-2006)

*Unjustly fired

Coaching Record: 5-15 (the numbers don’t tell the full story)

TRUE TROJAN: Lane Kiffin loves USC.  He loves it so much that he couldn’t remain under the tyrannical rule of Pete Carroll and watch as it continued to sink into a murky realm of insignificance.  He saw through the media hype, straight to the repeated failures of Coach Carroll.  But with the delusional fan-base exalting him on high despite his faults, no one was going to get rid of Carroll anytime soon.  (Even now, three losses later, they’ve still failed to see the light.)

The situation was so bad that Kiffin accepted the head coaching position with the Oakland Raiders, where at least he had a chance to turn things around.

DEDICATION TO COACHING: Kiffin gave up his senior season as a Fresno State quarterback in order to become a Student Assistant Coach for the team.  Now THAT’S dedication.  While Pete Carroll is out there running routes and throwing passes and jumping off the high dive trying to act like a player, Lane Kiffin is acting like a coach.

Let me ask you: Does USC need another player?  From the bucketloads of immensely talented five-star athletes we get year after year, I think not.  What we need is a coach.

AHEAD OF HIS TIME: When he was hired as the head coach of Oakland, it made Kiffin the youngest NFL coach ever.  That’s because he’s an innovator and an offensive guru.  Chances are he’s going to be the man to invent the new type of offense that sweeps the nation, something we can’t even yet fathom that will be known as “the spread option of the 2010’s.”  He would have done it already at USC if he’d had any control.  And he didn’t do it at Oakland because he was saving it for his triumphant return as USC’s new head coach.

This is one case where we agree with Pete Carroll:  “I think he’s very ahead of his time” - Pete Carroll.

POISED FOR SUCCESS: Other coaches that have been fired by Al Davis have gone on to win Super Bowls.  In Mike Shannahan’s case, MULTIPLE Super Bowls in BACK-TO-BACK years.  If someone can win the Super Bowl in consecutive years, how hard can it be to do the same thing in college football, where the players aren’t as good?  One thing’s for sure…it’s too hard for Pete Caroll.

HAS DEALT WITH ADVERSITY: Twice now Kiffin has been forced to work under a man with no sense for the game who insists on calling plays anyway.  And both times Kiffin has wrongly gotten the brunt of the blame for losses.  During his tenure at USC, rightfully angry fans were calling for him to be fired after USC’s losses, not seeing through the fog of lies to the real problem.  Had Kiffin been responsible for bad play-calling, it might have been just to call him out for his three losses.  But those were clearly the fault of Pete Carroll.

From Wikipedia:  ” Offensive play-calling responsibilities for USC were shared during this period with QB coach Steve Sarkisian having on-the-field approval for Kiffin’s suggestions and head coach Pete Carroll maintaining veto power. Lack of clarity and final say over play calling responsibility has left some controversy over how much decision making power Kiffin wielded versus Sarkisian and Carroll during his two-year tenure as offensive coordinator.”

So there you have it.  Carroll vetoed all the logical plays that would have won those games, forcing Kiffin to resort to the bottom of the playlist barrell.

After working under Al Davis and the even worse Pete Carroll (We’re talking about a man so irrational that he had a body thrown off a roof to prove a point.  While the body was fake, it didn’t make the incident any less frightening.), Kiffin is ready to handle the problem of leading a team that’s always expected to win because it’s highly ranked and destroys out-of-conference teams on a yearly basis before entering league play.

MAKES GREAT PLAYERS EVEN BETTER: Remember when USC used to have great wide receivers?  Lane Kiffin does, because it’s when he was there.  It took amazing athletes and made them perform at unheard of levels.  Since Kiffin’s been gone, Carroll has been unable to create another once-in-a-lifetime receiver, or even maintain the levels of greatness in receivers that Kiffin left him with, such as Patrick Turner.

Even in the short amount of time he was given this season, Kiffin has already made a difference.  He turned rookie running back Darren McFadden into a superstar.  This was a guy that could barely move the ball on USC a couple of seasons ago despite three years of college training.  After one summer with Kiffin, he ran for 164 yards against an NFL team!

WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY: “I picked the wrong guy.”  - Al Davis

First we have to say that if he’s the wrong guy for Al, that means that he’s the right guy for us.  But regarding Al’s words, we feel ya man, because Mike Garrett should be saying the same thing right about now.

BILL SNYDER

Kansas State Head Coach (2009-?**)

Kansas State Head Coach (1989-2005*)

*Retired

**Unretired

Coaching Record: 136-68-1 (including 2-0 against Pete Carroll)

MORE EXPERIENCED: The proof is in the numbers.  Snyder is 11 years older, and there’s no way to account for all of the experience gained during that time, not only as a strategist but also as a leader of young men.  In addition, he’s played in many more games and won nearly twice as much as Carroll.  And we’re well aware of his lower overall winning percentage, but let us point out that Snyder has coached over 200 games.  Carroll hasn’t even coached 100.  Give us a call when Carroll gets close to Snyder, and we’ll see what his winning percentage is then.

TRUE TROJAN: Snyder started his coaching career in 1966 as a graduate assistant for the USC Trojans, so this would be a homecoming for him.  He would bring a passion and true loyalty to the program that gave him the start to his exceptional career.

Pete has no connection to the university, begrudgingly accepting the head coaching position after he couldn’t make it in the NFL, only leading the New England Patriots to the playoffs 2 out of the 3 years that he coached for them.  (These are the same Patriots that have won THREE Super Bowls since he left and nearly a fourth last year.)  Carroll’s “loyalty” to USC can be seen through the numerous charity events and campus activities he attends to keep up appearances.

REBUILDER: Pete inherited a Trojan team that had only one losing season in its previous three.  Over the next three seasons, he increased the wins by a measly 53%, all with the aid of a Heisman Trophy winning quarterback that was already there.

Bill Snyder took over a program that had won only 2 games during its previous three seasons.  During his first three years, he increased Kansas State’s  wins by 550%!

That’s the kind of energy we need right now at a program that has become stagnant over the past few years.  Just imagine.  A turnaround even half that amazing would do wonders for our program.

LEGACY: When Bill Snyder retired from Kansas State, they renamed the stadium Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium.  We don’t think it’s going out on a limb to say that if Pete left right now, they wouldn’t rename the Coliseum in his honor.

USC is a traditional powerhouse and should be coached by someone of equal stature.  Even in his retirement, Billy Snyder’s name is synonymous with Kansas State football.  He’d be the perfect fit at USC.

FAMILY MAN: If you need any proof that Bill Snyder is a family man, just look at the name of the stadium.  Sure, Pete Carroll has a family, including one USC alumna and a current USC undergrad. (Gee, wonder if that has anything to do with the free tuition?)  But just take a look at the family section of his Wikipedia page:

“Carroll’s wife Glena (née Goranson) played indoor volleyball at the University of the Pacific.  Together they have three children, oldest son Brennan, middle daughter Jaime, and youngest son Nathan.  Brennan Carroll played tight end at the University of Pittsburgh after transferring from University of Delaware; he graduated from Pitt in 2001 and joined his father as a graduate assistant (he is now Tight Ends Coach).  Jaime Carroll started attending USC in the fall of 2000, several months before her father was hired as football coach, she was a player on the Women of Troy’s women’s volleyball team.  Nathan Carroll is an undergraduate student at USC.  The Carrolls live in Rolling Hills, California.  Carroll’s late father-in-law, Dean Goranson, graduated with a Master’s degree from USC.  His older brother, Jim Carroll, played tackle at Pacific, operated a few businesses in the upper Midwest, and is now retired in Phoenix, Arizona.”

Talk about over exposure.  We wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a reality show about them coming out soon.  Just another of his celebrity antics that continue distance him from the common fan.

Meanwhile, Mr. Snyder’s family section contains the following:  “Snyder and his wife Shannon have five children.  They live in Manhattan, Kansas.”

We don’t need to know everything about his family.  We don’t even need to know his children’s names.  He’s a true family man, keeping his family out of the public limelight while he focuses on football.  The only downside is that he’s probably so busy loving his grandchildren that it might be hard to lure him out of retirement.

HEAD-TO-HEAD RECORD: During Carroll’s first two years with the Trojans, USC played a home-and-home with Kansas State.  Snyder outwitted Carroll in both games, holding the Trojans without a touchdown for 7 of the 8 quarters.

In both years, the teams finished with identical records.  The teams were equal.  The coaches weren’t.

The most tragic part of this is that in 2002, the Trojans finished 11-2.  If Snyder had been coaching for us back then, he obviously would have beaten his old team, and it stands to reason that his superior coaching ability could have made up the three point deficit that resulted in a loss to Washington State.  USC would have gone undefeated and won a national championship, two years earlier than Carroll managed to deliver one.  (A real one.)

WHAT OTHERS SAY: “He’s not the coach of the year; he’s not the coach of the decade; he’s the coach of the century.” - Hall of Fame football coach Barry Switzer on Bill Snyder

What more of an endorsement do you need?  Barry Switzer knows football.  We’d take his recommendation over a 4 time PAC-10 Coach of the Year winner any day of the week.

Permalink | September 17th, 2008

20 Responses to “The Replacements”

  1. IWantPete Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    NO. The only way Pete should be replaced is by someone sexier than he is. If you can find the sophistication, that boyish charm, that, je ne sais quoi, in someone else, then I will support you. Then, and only then, will I be okay with removing the silver fox. And only if he retires to become my sugardaddy.

  2. DontBendDontBreak Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    Pete Carroll may be pretty, but his coaching is just plain ugly.

  3. You're a fucking idiot Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Seriously?

    How many national titles has Bill Snyder won?

  4. DontBendDontBreak Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am

    You’re a fucking idiot: Bill Snyder and Pete Carroll have won the exact same number of national titles since 2005. At least Snyder admitted he had given up and retired.

  5. Andrew Pitman Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    I love when people’s user names are more like self-fulfilling prophecies!

  6. Thomas Sowell for Coach. Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    I don’t know if “Do USC need another player?” but this blog DOES need a spell check.

  7. TheOneTrueTrojan Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    I feel like you guys are dropping the ball big time on your replacements list. Only two names? Here are some others to investigate:

    Dave Wannstedt- Just beat a top-ranked USF team. When’s the last time Carroll beat USF? Here’s a hint: never. He’s winless lifetime versus a school that’s been among the nation’s elite since 2007. Also, hiring a failed pro coach has proven to be a winning strategy (Wannstedt, Callahan, Carroll, etc.).

    Dennis Franchione- has been extremely successful at 66% of the places he’s coached. Carroll’s number? Closer to 33%. So he’s already twice as good.

    Bill Cowher- let’s list the ways he’s superior to Pete. Super Bowl ring? Check. Mustache? Check. What more do you want?

    Norm Chow- let’s right the wrong we made a few years ago. He’s the best coach USC’s had since Paul Hackett, and it’s about time he was given the chance to prove it on the big stage. Also, all three of the QBs he coached have started in the NFL. None of the QBs USC’s had since he left have.

  8. DontBendDontBreak Says:
    October 11th, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Thanks for the suggestions TheOneTrueTrojan. I agree we need more people on the replacements page. There’s just so many candidates to choose from, it gets a bit overwhelming at times.

  9. Cindy Says:
    May 31st, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Pete Carroll is the BEST thing to happen to USC. Now just get divorced for all us USC Trojan women out here. You are doing great things for LA!

  10. You're a hackkkk Says:
    September 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Wow. Nice website…….NOTTTT. Hey Joker get a life. Your list of replacement’s is a joke seeing that COach will go down one day as arguably the greatest coach of all time in collegiate football history. Not just saying that as I didn’t attend SC however your list of Lane Kiffin and Tubberville???? Let’s check the water your drinking and tighten up your game partner. This site sucks and you’re for sure a Bruin. Anddd if you’re a Trojan- you’re a tool because you obviously forgot about the hackett Robinson days. You don’t like to win do ya….. Because thats really all Coach has done since he’s been there. Figure it out Hackk!

  11. Maria D. Cardona Says:
    September 21st, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Outstanding work you do; May God richly continue to bless you! Do you have a help mate?

  12. NAHHHH Says:
    October 8th, 2009 at 9:43 pm

    FUCK THIS

  13. Chris Says:
    October 31st, 2009 at 7:02 pm

    lololol i assume this is a joke. well done. i laughed.

  14. Ryan P Says:
    November 11th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    I stuck up for Carroll for a long time and I never wanted to believe that the glorious dominant days would ever end. I was really concerned when we lost to Washington (0-12 last year and a team we beat 56-3!). Then we lost to Oregon, a team we beat last year 41-10! I ask you how does that happen?? Don’t get me started on the Oregon/Oregon State losing streak, losing to UCLA and Stanford, yuck!!! We need to do this quick like ripping off a bandaid. Even though it hurts, it will help us heal for the future.

  15. Leave Snyder alone Says:
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:54 am

    Good luck getting Snyder! Do you all know how many top tier schools came calling after he retired? Do you know how many he came out of retirement for? One…K-State. He will not go anywhere else. Just put up with your four and five star recruits having no direction. Find yourselfs another coach! GO CATS!

  16. DontBendDontBreak Says:
    November 15th, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Well after this weekend’s game, I have realized that I do love Pete Carroll as a coach, now that USC is just like any other team, and that Bill Snyder and the Big 12 North may burn in hell for unjustly sucking. And Lane Kiffin sucks too.

  17. Blitz2k Says:
    December 20th, 2009 at 12:19 am

    Lane Kiffin??? Really???? Why, so we can find out how many recruiting violations he can rack up in SoCal? I mean if the NCAA has to do anymore “investigations” into Kiffin and his tactics they may aswell set up an office in Tennesse.

    And what’s with the love in with Snyder? I mean it’s almost bordering on stalkerish.

    I love the tag line “Demanding More From Our Coach Since 2008″, oh wow, so what one or two bad years and you’re talking about returning to the “glory days”, it’s not like USC has become the new Michigan.

    I gotta agree with one of the comments above, you guys must be from UCLA

  18. James Says:
    January 10th, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    The new Michigan? You mean the new Notre Dame. Notre Dame still has the most National titles and Heisman Trophies. They also own an 8 game edge all time vs. USC. The most National Titles even with a 22 year drought! Ouch

  19. Jonathon Says:
    January 10th, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    This couldn’t have worked out better! We didn’t want to be mean and fire Pete. He really is a good person and he meant well. He walked off on his own!!!! Great job everybody! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!!

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    June 11th, 2010 at 2:02 pm

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